numb me
this reeking film
i'm making fades
into the compost
flesh i've become

the action was a murder plot
the movie made itself
go through the motion
the spectator hypnotic

numb me
i am endangered
to the point
where slashes in my flesh
are pure shadow

all film
is now considered outlaw
all actors
mere filler
this woman
the promotional victim

numb me
disfigure flesh
until it carries
an ultimate reflex
the alphabet
of russian roulette

lens and shutter
were not spared
when metal and plastic
fluttered and smashed
it could have been skin

numb me
rescue these crazy-mouthed symbols
this voice devastating terror
i'm rotting and bleeding
it's already knee-deep

the audience
the torture artist
the spotlight
a knife
it could have been limbs
stray pieces of severed arm

"Snuff Movie / Numb Me," Lacerating Heartwood (Toronto: Coach House Press, 1977).
© 1977-2008 Judith Fitzgerald. All Rights Reserved.

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