To Leonard Cohen
From Sandra Merriman
I wrote a poem about a man.
Someone I love in an abstract way.
I posted it in a newsgroup for him
Where others could see what I had to say.
He sings his songs, and I wrote
About how he has affected me.
How his voice wraps around my heart
And helps me live when I don't want to be.
I wrote about him almost every day.
I listened to him to give me strength,
And read what others all over the world
Wrote in short posts and at great length.
One day a man from Australia,
A man so very far away
Tried to explain why this man's music
Affected him a certain way.
He thought it was his heritage,
That they had ancient blood in common.
But I am of a different line,
And I was sure our feelings were one.
When I answered his post I suggested
That it was universal, his theory didn't fit.
This man has the talent to write music
That seeks out your soul and comforts it.
I told him I felt what he talked about
How my heart was warmed, the comfort I got,
And a man from the other side of the world
Was excited, said I was expressing what he thought.
I've wondered before how his male fans felt
Because he gives off such intense sexual heat
To every woman fan I've known.
I didn't know men's feelings about him could be as deep.
But now I know that Leonard Cohen
Can reach any kind of soul,
Can help people of any kind, anywhere
Live through low feelings, from pole to pole.
I know that every fan has not been touched
The same as this man and me.
But being his fan cannot be the same
As just liking his music and lyrics would be.
To Sandra Merriman
From Leonard Cohen
. . . But sometimes when the night is slow
The wretched and the meek
We gather up our hearts and go
A thousand kisses deep . . .
("A Thousand Kisses Deep," Ten New Songs [SONY]
© 1998-2009 Leonard Cohen and Stranger Music)
Sandra Merriman, My Beautifullest B'Loser™ (and BF), left us an enduring legacy
of her strength, love, and artistic talents when she left us forever in 1998.
This page is but one small tribute to one singularly marvellous artist,
goddess, and all-round gawdawfully gifted grrtdame
who posted as firstname.lastname@example.org in the alt.b'losin' game :).
Upon the release of Ten New Songs October 2001,
Maclean's Newsmagazine's Brian D. Johnson queried Leonard Cohen:
"One cut on Ten New Songs is dedicated to Sandy. Who's Sandy?"
"It's a rather long story," replied Cohen, "but, there's an Internet newsgroup
that has gathered together under the umbrella of myself.
There's also this site in Helsinki called The Leonard Cohen Files.
Sandy was very much involved with this group.
She was a woman in her middle fifties, and she committed suicide at a certain point.
We corresponded and she kind of indicated that my work kind of got her through the night.
But, I guess it failed. I just wanted to keep her memory alive.
She was an American woman. She had cancer and was in a lot of pain."
© 1988-2010 Judith Fitzgerald (a.k.a. GrrtDame), Sandra Merriman,
and the Estate of Sandra Merriman.
All Rights Reserved. (Inexpressible thanks to Geoff Gompers,
Marie M. Mazur, St. Jane Danko, Antonio Loureiro,
Jarkko Arjatsalo, Leo, MeanLarry, and Tom Dukovcic.)